The Kind Of Love You Deserve

“I deserve the happiness that comes with waiting for the right person, and not settling on every point that used to mean something to me. I deserve to be loved wholly.” 🙂

Thought Catalog

Settling feels like an art form. There are so many moving parts to choosing another person, and we are constantly expanding the list of “things we can live without.” I used to have such complex, detailed dreams about the kind of man I would spend my life with. And then, little by little, he got whittled away by reality, and he became a vague shape of a person with a few basic qualities. I learned to settle like a champion, like a woman much older and more embittered by history than myself. It was key to survival without crippling disappointment.

But, after multiple relationships with men who felt like the physical incarnation of ‘settling’ itself, I have decided to wait. I’ve decided to embrace and enjoy and even revel in my singlehood and never force something to go past a disappointing first date. I’m not taking relationships at all costs…

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You And I Were Not Meant To Be

“Where our time together has always been made to end. We see people in similar situations coming together and making it work. They are the exceptions, but we will never be one of them.”

Thought Catalog

In a perfect world, maybe we would have grown up together. We would live next to each other by a huge field where we would run around as kids. Come high school, we’d still meet up after school, staying up all night in the same field talking about our mutual friends and our life plans. We would talk about our secrets and our problems, like we always do. Except in this world, our problems are small and insignificant. We would play in the lake nearby, you hold my hand tight walking there through the mud and the rocky path because I am afraid of falling. Maybe that is where we would realize we love each other.

You and me, walking back home hand in hand. My parents tell me off for staying out with you so late. They would be secretly happy, though, because in this perfect world, they love…

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The 7 Stages Of Getting Back Together With Yourself

“You simply have to find the strength to live it a little differently.”

Thought Catalog

Nothing sucks more than a break-up or a heartbreak. We’ve all been there, on the bathroom floor (or any floor for that matter), gasping for air, and asking the heavens or whoever was willing to listen: why? Why us? What did we do to deserve such tragedy?

Cue months ahead or maybe even a year or two ahead, and here we are, fully in love again and in a brand new and much better relationship. This, people, is the cycle of romantic relationships right here. You lose one, you get another one.

For a lot of people though, relationships are all they know. They live and breathe in the same one that seems to take over not only their youth but their entire lives. And when tragedy befalls and they wake up on that bathroom floor, alone, they feel like life as they know it has ended. And this is…

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This Is How You Almost Date Someone

“To almost date someone is to go back on a promise no one had to keep, because it was a promise no one made. You live in limbo for a little while, nothing more, but it’s okay because you grow drunk on possibility and giddy with potential. The almost relationship is everything that could happen, everything that could be.”

Thought Catalog

We existed in the strange in-between of the possible and the probable. It was in the unsaid, in the expected, in the logical next steps. Our friends accepted it, anticipated it, shook their heads and said, “It’s only a matter of time.” They’d ask sly questions and accuse us outright, and all we ever managed were shy smiles and hopeful maybes. We were almost dating. We almost dated.

But almost doesn’t count for much. Almost doesn’t bridge the gap from “not quite” to “yes.”

When you almost date someone, it’s not because you’re only doing things by halves. Everything depends on the build and the anticipation in that gray area of maybe. You do not keep your secrets from them, do not laugh at half the volume, do not kiss them with only half the intensity. Maybe you’re shy about how you feel. Maybe you hold back there, but that’s…

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What People Do When They Don’t Really Love You

“When someone loves you, you will know it. If someone cares about you, they will find a way to be with you. If they do not, they’ll make excuses. Sometimes they won’t even be sure whether or not they love you, so you’ll see them going back and forth trying to figure it out.”

Thought Catalog

I try to lace my work with optimism because a guiding principle in my own life has been that the most tragic things in our lives almost always precede the most incredible. I think that, at any given point, we are faced with the choice of whether to move on with what the universe gives and takes or to hold on and bury ourselves in our own misery. I do not perch on a high horse preaching this, because I have been in those depths, and I know what it’s like. I also know that there are few issues that will destroy you faster than matters of the heart. But what I must tell you is that while teaching myself to climb out of that sadness and attachment-laden-misery, I realized something that is a bit more realistic than optimistic, but so invariably true that it’s worth giving attention to.


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How We Let People Go

“Letting someone go — when it is a necessary act of self-preservation, something that has to come if you expect to move forward in life — is regarded as a kind of victory.”

Thought Catalog

There is a specific feeling which exists only when you run into someone you had long forgotten about. It’s probably most palpable when it’s an ex, but it can happen with friends who were once particularly close. It is comparable to a scab that seems to have been on your skin forever — a scrape which was once quite painful but has been so long in the healing process that you no longer notice its presence when you wash over it in the shower. You peel it off almost out of boredom and suddenly there is a drop or two of blood, something that vaguely resembles the wound it once was, now too distant to really cause any discomfort. These people are wounds which have healed over, which have never quite turned into scars but which have become just another part of your lived-in body.

Letting someone go — when…

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