An Open Letter To All The Girls That Can’t Walk Away

“Do not change for anyone but for yourself and be with someone who does not want to change you.”

Thought Catalog

Lately it seems that a lot of my friends are handling the end of their relationships, but the odd part is that their relationships have been ending for months now yet they have not walked away. There always seems to be a new reason to why they are talking which leads to them attempting to work it out, or they just decide to be in limbo. So here it is.

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Dear Hopeful and Persistent Friends of Mine,

I am going to be very careful how I word this because there is a thin line between honest and rude and I am not downplaying your relationships but I am going to point out concepts that may not be obvious to you.

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Love vs. Comfort

I understand that you love him, but are you still in love with him? I think you may be comfortable and the…

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HASSLE

There is a fine line between being patient and settling for less than what you deserve.

Being with someone means you have to deal and accept all the bullshit, his shortcomings and imperfections. You need to learn how to be patient and adjust your ways for the sake of avoiding conflict and misunderstandings. You have to try really hard and be as understanding as possible in order to work things out. Make sacrifices. Compromise. However, this should not be a one-way street. Both parties must exert time and effort in trying to make things work. Both ends should meet. The two should at least meet halfway. Both must be willing to give up things and make sacrifices. Both must compromise. It takes two people to build a meaningful relationship. But it is not always the case. There will always be that one person who’s willing to give so much more than the other. There will always be that one person who would do everything just to make things work even if the other person hasn’t done anything at all. There will always be that one person who’s going to be patient and understanding through it all. There will always be that one person who will choose to stay no matter how difficult the situation is. There will always be that one person who will try to see the goodness in everything despite all shit.

But when do you know if you’ve had enough? Or when do you know if you’ve already given too much? Is everything really worth it? Is he worth fighting for?

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to make things work, they still don’t. Relationships take time and effort. Relationships don’t work the way they should be if only one is willing to try and make sacrifices. No matter how hard you try and how much you fight for it, if the other one has stopped trying and fighting, it will be a hopeless battle. You are just going to lose.

I Can’t Be Your Band-Aid

Thought Catalog

I know you broke up with someone four months ago (or she broke up with you — I’m still unclear on that detail). I broke up with someone nine months ago, and it took me about eight months to get over it. I know that there are stages I’ve been through that you haven’t reached yet. Watching you is like seeing myself in the rear-view mirror. It’s all a little blurry, but I can pick up signs and landmarks that I’ve passed by before.

I want to take away all of the pain and I want to put the pieces back together for you. No one did that for me, and I know it would have been a lot easier if someone had come along and helped me. Not necessarily better, but it would have been easier. Putting yourself back together is lonely and isolating and scary. I know that it’s…

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13 Reasons It’s Better To Be The Person Who Cares More

“Once you have dealt with a serious, humiliating rejection that stemmed from you caring way more than the other person, you know you can survive it. You know that everything is a little less scary, and a little more worth going for.”

Thought Catalog

I am always the person who cares a little too much. My feelings are all open and tender, I tend to come on a little too strong in platonic relationships, and I meet “emotional chilliness” with “turning the sincerity up to 11.” And yes, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you get hurt. But in the end, I believe that it’s always better to feel just a little too much than not enough, and here is why.

1. People feel comfortable talking to you. Sometimes you just give off those vibes like you cry over OWN documentaries and are ready whenever someone needs to talk. And yes, that can mean that you are occasionally overwhelmed with all of the various villagers’ problems (such as sickly livestock or interference from Trickster Gods), but it’s the best! When people know they can come to you, and that you are a space of non-judgment, nothing…

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Why Traveling Is The Most Important Thing You’ll Do

“Because who you are, and the happiness you deserve, might be anywhere in the world, but the only way you’ll ever know for sure is if you go out there and look for it.”

Thought Catalog

From the ages of 17 to 22, I had no money. I’m from a pretty standard middle-class background, but functionally speaking, I didn’t have money at my disposal. I was irresponsible and constantly accruing all manner of ticket and fine. A small credit card debt accrued at 18 years old — 500 dollars with Bank of America — took until 24 to fully pay off because I defaulted on it for so long. For some time, I was driving a 600 dollar truck with non-functioning brakes because I wrecked my own and had no money for a second. Sometimes it would just turn off and turn on again while I was rolling down the street. Because of my enormous irresponsibility, my parents (rightfully) refused to sign on college loans until I had my affairs in order. I went to a community college and slept on a mattress in a cheap…

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